Appreciating the Beauty in the Cracks

By Amy Luskey

I began my yoga teaching journey about 6 years ago, after I mentioned to one of my teachers that I wanted to teach yoga. Fast forward to spring 2016 and my dream became a reality.  Upon completion of my training, I was approached by a few people to teach, and surprisingly, my immediate reaction was a resounding “no”!  I was not ready, extremely nervous and I felt a deep sense of responsibility to the yoga community not to teach.  Over time, I began to teach, and, little by little,  my confidence grew.  However, for months, there was constant doubt…..a voice that said “ I am not enough.  I am not as good as any of the talented teachers I have practiced with over the years.  Will I ever be good enough?  Will people like me? Should I even really be teaching?” 

This fall, I made the decision to do something about the self-doubt and how it was impacting my yoga teaching and my life.  I embarked on a yoga teacher mentorship training offered by SoulSpace Yoga Community.  Through this teacher training mentorship, I have found an incredible support system in four amazing yogis I am blessed to call friends, and two of the most incedible mentors one could ask for.  Slowly, through the work we are doing both on and off our mat, I am embracing the mantra, “ I AM ENOUGH”.  Just as I am.  I don’t need to be like anyone else but me, cracks and all.  If I try to teach or sound like anyone else I will not be offering my students the most authentic version of myself.

Each of us has a unique gift to offer the world. It is what separates us from everyone else on the planet.  Once we embrace these gifts, we can start to loosen and hopefully eliminate the negative chatter, or as I affectionately refer to it, “the itty bitty shitty committee”. When the negative self-talk decideds to show up, I must tell it to go away. 

I offer you the idea of being compassionate toward yourself.  Self compassion is a practice.  We must remember that our worthiness-- the belief that we are enough, comes only when we live inside our story.  If we do not own it then we stand outside of it and hustle for other peoples approval.  It is a never ending hustle.  So we must remember to embrace ourselves for who we are, cracks and all.